003 – The Second Coming
A season of Intentional Cultivation
I’ve been working from two ethoses this year:
Embodiment > performance
Intentional > reactivity
And I think these two things have really shaped how I’m coming back to my work.
Working for myself has pushed me to grow in so many ways. But at the beginning, you really are a deer in headlights. You’re trying to replicate what others do, compare yourself and sometimes feel hopeless. As I’ve gotten to know myself more, I realised I could create my own definitions, my own ways, my own time time, and methods.
For example, I’ve slowly been coming to terms with the idea of not calling it a business at all. It’s too corporate. My practice or my work feels much more fitting.
Another example – my measure of success isn’t how much money I’m making.Yes, I want to be comfortable. I want to be able to do the things I want to do. But money doesn’t drive me in the way it once did. My version of success looks like time and location freedom. It looks like making a difference.
So here I am, picking up my practice after these months, with a new lense. And interestingly, the first thing I had to reconsider wasn’t what I was selling. It was what actually makes me qualified to do this.
When I spoke to my mentor, he asked me: “What makes you an expert at this?” I answered confidently: My life experience. He asked me how much I share of my story, what brought me here. And I replied, not much. Because I don’t want it to become a pity party.
His views were really insightful.
He reminded me that my context makes me who I am as a coach. The things I’ve experienced, learned, struggled with and moved through are part of what informs the way I work. And those things need to be shared. Not necessarily every detail. Not a full autobiography. But enough of the context for people to understand why I am the person doing this work.
And that got me thinking about Instagram.
How I feel about it, and how I actually want to use it. I don’t like trying to fit my message into a 1 minute 30 video. Honestly, I don’t want to be trying.
For so long I’ve felt like I should figure it out. Get better at it. Learn how to make the reels – my way. Keep up with what everyone else is doing. But if my ethos is embodiment over performance, why would I force myself into a way of showing up that doesn’t feel natural to me?
I write everyday. I love talking, conversing about such worldly matters. So that’s where I want to place myself.
And suddenly, coming back felt a lot more exciting. What if I could write my thoughts as if I was conversing with a friend?
I discovered I a new way to experiment.
Showing up on my blog. Sharing my words in long form. Writing when I have something to say, in a way that feels appropriate, fitting and good to me.
This is how I naturally communicate. And that feels much more like me.
With all of this in mind, I started revisiting my containers.
Up until now, I’d been working from my Spring containers – which were centred around adapting to my new schedule and working out where everything fit. Spring was about adjustment – figuring things out, adapting to uni, the cafe, making everything fit.
But I’m not in quite the same place anymore. I guess Spring was an elongated period for me this year. Summer came a little later, and it was mostly about having fun, enjoying myself and setting the foundations ready for the next season. Autumn is nigh.
Summer has been about intentional cultivation. Priority 1 – have fun with my time. Priority 2 – open my work back up.
Not doing everything, rushing, reacting and becoming overwhelmed. Choosing what I want to tend to, and giving it the time and attention it needs to grow.
Now Autumn is here, my containers look like this:
Life First
My actual life comes first.
Focusing on routine, schedule, health, boundaries, fun, movement and rest.
This isn’t separate from my work. It creates the conditions for me to do the work well.
Build Foundations in Self Love
This is about developing the programme, blending my psychology teachings into the work and writing.
But with some very deliberate limitations:
No new offers.
No changing direction.
No constantly reinventing things.
Just consistency with the plan.
Grow the Movement
This is about visibility.
The weekly blog. The monthly social.
Bringing people into the story and allowing them to see what I’m learning, thinking about and creating – through my website.
But again, without turning it into performance.
No pressure to perform.
Just healthy, consistent habits.
I guess the seasons have been a bit late this year for me, but live brings waves and sometimes we just need to flow with it.
My practice is growing as I am, and I am happy to share this journey, hoping those that read it, may feel a sense of familiarity in my words and use them as a lesson of their own.
Thank you for reading, share soon..
With love,
Tyla x
