I wasn’t always this way.

My childhood included whirlwinds of turbulence that left deep marks on my spirit. To cope, I learned to internalise everything and play the role of the “good girl.” This pattern followed me into my late childhood and teenage years, creating a landscape where I often felt vulnerable and taken advantage of. I was terrified of confrontation and turned into a people pleaser, a “yes” girl. In my confusion and sense of being lost, I sought solace in substances, using them to numb my feelings and escape the chaos in my mind. 

As I transitioned into my late teens, I started to find a semblance of confidence, but it was so closely tied to my friendships that I didn’t see how co-dependent I had become. The moment of truth came when my best friend moved to the other side of the world, and I felt like my entire foundation was crumbling. It was a wake-up call that forced me to confront the reality of my situation—I knew I had to change. 

I began to challenge myself to step outside my comfort zone and do things alone. The first step was breaking free from my trauma and letting go of the victim identity I had clung to for so long. I immersed myself in self-help books, attended sister circles, and connected with people who understood what I was going through. I was desperately reaching for healing – exploring yoga, meditation, several courses and various spiritual practices that promised ‘healing’. 

The true awakening came during my travels. While everything I had tried in the UK felt safe and familiar, being in France changed everything. Living in a caravan, surrounded by strangers, I experienced an intense ego death that shifted my entire perspective. It dawned on me that healing isn’t a destination you arrive at; it’s a continuous journey. This realisation became one of my most profound lessons.