By mid-2024, I was becoming really miserable.
It’s so easy to bypass and ignore what your intuition, body and mind are trying to tell you, especially when you’re stuck in the comfort zone.
Here’s how my misery was unfolding:
I felt lonely and misunderstood. I felt completely lost, like I had nowhere I truly belonged – except when I was with family. I felt boring for not wanting to do the things everyone else was doing. I felt weird spending weekends alone, yet never really feeling fulfilled. I felt trapped by my 9-to-5 job. My confidence and self-esteem were suffering, making it difficult to show up in social situations – on the rare occasions I did. I felt ashamed of the silly decisions I made while escaping through substances. And I felt attached to my old life, the one I’d left behind in France.
I didn’t know what to do. Every month, I’d reach a breaking point where I’d want to quit my job and go travelling again. But deep down, I knew travelling was just a band-aid. I’d likely come back to the UK feeling exactly the same.
There was a persistent little voice whispering to me to move away, to get out of Manchester. But I was stuck in my comfort zone – a nice, cheap house with two friends, a gentrified suburb, a gorgeous bedroom. The thought of moving away felt daunting and overwhelming. Still, the voice wouldn’t go away.
In summer, I decided to go to a festival. It was a bold choice, given my frame of mind. As I said earlier, it’s easier to bypass and ignore yourself, and that’s exactly what I’d been doing.
During the festival, I had so much going on in my mind while trying to navigate social circles and substance use. It wasn’t the healthiest combination. It’s also not my ‘normal’ anymore. I found myself spiralling inward, overthinking everything to another level. I was in a pressure cooker and didn’t have the confidence to step away and nurture myself, something I usually do.
I muddled through the weekend, feeling immense relief on Monday when it was finally time to go home.
When I got back and had some time to reflect, I realised I’d been giving myself such a hard time. I’d been seeing myself as a “problem” instead of recognising that life just changes, and I’ve changed. And that’s okay. That realisation brought me back to the little voice I’d been blocking out for months:
You’re not in the right environment for you.
It rang true, not just about my mindset but about my living space as well. It was time to move.
That same day, I searched for a new place to live and found a property in the perfect location. Okay, it was no frills and definitely needed some love, but it felt exciting. I booked a viewing and took Thursday off to go and see it.
I remember walking through the door and thinking, Wow, this place really does need love. But I’ve got a lot of love to give. So, bring it on.
The act of doing something for myself shifted my confidence almost immediately. Shortly after moving, my life started transforming. My path became clearer, and things began to fall back into place.
Sometimes, we know something isn’t good for us, but we stay anyway. We let it drain our energy and rob us of confidence without considering the long-term effects. That’s exactly what had been happening to me.
I’m proud of myself for persevering instead of running away. There’s real strength in facing challenges head-on and coming out the other side.
Now, I couldn’t be happier. I feel aligned, confident, fulfilled, and truly on the right path.
The beauty of this story is that life often throws curveballs our way. As we change and grow, it’s natural to lose sight of our path and occasionally head in the wrong direction. Life is a constant wave, and each challenge we face teaches us more about ourselves, strengthens our confidence, and builds our resilience. We’re more robust and adaptable than we realise, and there’s always the possibility to find our way back.
Have you had a ground breaking life change you would like to share? or perhaps a question ? Let me know in the comments below!
