When it comes to relationships—of any kind—clear communication makes a world of difference. In a society where being direct can feel awkward or even off-putting, speaking openly and honestly can save a lot of confusion and unnecessary drama, along with deepening relationships and creating trust.
I had an experience earlier in the year that really drove this home. I was honest with someone, and their response was hurtful. The interaction was casual, but their reaction hit hard and reminded me how much words can matter.
What stood out to me was a pattern I’ve noticed: even when you’re kind and thoughtful in how you express yourself, honesty can still make people defensive. Maybe it’s because hearing the truth, even when delivered gently, challenges us. Society often encourages us to hide our feelings and act like everything’s fine. But to be honest, the whole ‘is what it is’ attitude doesn’t really cut it for me. Especially when emotions are involved.
After thinking about it more, I realised the reaction I’d received wasn’t really about me. It probably came from their own feelings—maybe rejection or pain—and I just happened to be the person on the receiving end. I tried to handle it with understanding, but it reminded me that while it’s good to be empathetic, it’s also important to set boundaries. Supporting someone doesn’t mean excusing hurtful behavior.
Honesty is such a key part of real, meaningful relationships. It takes courage to express how you feel without letting the fear of someone’s reaction hold you back. You can’t control how they respond, but not speaking your truth is a disservice to yourself. It’s about staying true to who you are, even when it’s hard.
This whole experience also reminded me to trust my gut. Those little “red flags” and intuitive warnings are there for a reason. Ignoring them can get you in a pickle! It’s especially important to listen to your intuition when life feels chaotic—those whispers of the heart usually know what’s up.
Here’s the teachings I received from navigating this experience:
- Honestly is the foundation of strong meaningful connections.
- Trust your gut. Red flags and intuition are there to protect you.
- Do not make decisions while inner chaos is present. Chaos can cloud judgement – wait for clarity.
- Use your voice. Remember you cannot control a person’s reaction. Intensity is temporary. Using voice is one of the greatest acts of self love
- Reactions are not personal, they reflect the others feelings and struggles
- Be real, but be thoughtful too. Ensure you are coming from the heart space, expressing yourself clear, kindly and confidently (it takes some practice!)
- Take time to process things. If you are hurt give yourself grace and space. Release it through talking to someone you trust or journaling as a couple of examples.
Hard conversations and uncomfortable moments are where growth happens. If we avoid them, we miss out on important lessons. Every experience, no matter how tough, has something to teach us. The key is focusing on what we can learn rather than getting stuck in the hurt.